Deadlines

Hello dear friends,

I am so excited to share with you that my graduate life is coming to an end. I can finally see the finish line. I have my PhD examination date set, less than two months from now. Most of the time, I thought the day I finish my graduate school would be the happiest day of my life, right now though, I have mixed feelings. This might have few reasons:

• Not totally finished with the examination; 
• Scared of the next step since I am so comfortable in where I am doing right now; 
• State of my mind that it has to worry for everything, that it is not satisfied to what I have achieved, that it is always eager to learn more and do more. 

If I have to weigh out on the mentioned reasons, the heaviest would be state of the mind part. Mind is constantly chasing a thought it likes or resist a thought it doesn't like. Its important not to be engaged with thoughts, as, first of all they come and go and secondly, you can focus on such a little part of the problem that you will loose the big picture. Obviously, thinking is not bad, nor am I saying it is not valuable, 'the big mind' helps us fundamentally change our experience to life.  Simply witness the drifted mind, let go of that thinking, and then rest your attention back to the original point of focus.

So for me, I should get back to my 'final push' and focus on to finish it strong. Wish me luck.

With Love,
Ellie

Photographer: Elnaz Shokrollahi

Location: Homewood Ave, North York, ON, Canada

p.s. I am hoping to keep writing to you even though I have this huge deadline. After all, writing to you is where I reconnect and refocus my mind.